Thank you God for the privilege and blessing of this trip! You are so very good!!!! AND, thank you God for my family...without an amazing husband, and two little crazy kids this trip would not be the same. I'm so very blessed.
While I realize I am on vacation...I could not help but share this moment. This is what vacation is all about...kids playing, and loving one another...we are ALMOST to our destination....Topsail Island...I can just taste the salty air!!!!! Both children have been truly amazing...and Aiden was very well rewarded today with a trip to the Lego Store in Raleigh, NC. He earned himself a very healthy amount to spend on...well..himself...maybe tomorrow I'll get to spend a little bit on a few things I'd like to purchase....but, I won't hold my breath on that.
Thank you God for the privilege and blessing of this trip! You are so very good!!!! AND, thank you God for my family...without an amazing husband, and two little crazy kids this trip would not be the same. I'm so very blessed.
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Chief Complaint: Everything. Nothing is ever enough. You are wrong, I am right. Nothing is ever right. Everything is wrong. Everything is falling apart. My world is always in chaos. Physical Examination: A frown, a scowl, anxiety ridden, stressed, harsh word-vomit. Rarely many friends. Typically always sick or ill with something. Diagnosis: Chronic unhappiness Treatment: Work on being kind. Maybe even invite God into your heart. Be the bigger person. Let goodness prevail. JUST BE NICE. Get outside. It is upon a realization that I had today that there are some in this world that are chronically unhappy. You know them...YOU are always messing up their world, nothing you do is ever correct, everything is always wrong...they are unhappy..they scowl at you if they even acknowledge you....and, you know what is missing? It is one thing. I believe it is just ONE THING that they are missing that causes this whole heavy unhappiness for them. It is God. I'm not saying God makes everything on this earthly world perfect for us, because He does not...BUT, with God things are so much easier...we always have a safety net in Him, and that is so peaceful. There is this woman I know...ugh..and each time I have to see her, interact with her, and encounter her she has a scowl, and something to always complain about. Something is ALWAYS wrong...but, you know what? I am so much better now at not allowing her to bother me. I just smile at her, and go about my day. I even...GET THIS...I PRAY FOR HER. You won't believe how long it's taken me to do that much! But, I do. I do pray that God might keep knocking at the door of her heart and one day she might decide to live for Him. So....smile at the chronically unhappy....pray for them...don't give up hope for them...and even wish them well...let God shine through your eyes and smile...and, maybe...just maybe one day you might see God shine from them! We leave for vacation oh so soon...and all I really have done is toss a few things in a large tub that I know we need to take. I sat down last night to make a very well thought out list for each person...each occasion...everything, and realized that I was stressing myself out! I stopped for a moment and it occurred to me that, this is vacation..this is my chance to relax and enjoy my family. There is a Wal-Mart sorta kinda close to where we will be...and we can purchase whatever we...I'm certain will forget. I'm not Martha Stewart...I'm not Betty Crocker....I won't have snacks, and lunches packed for the road...I won't have everything laid out as perfectly as the next woman...but, we will get to where we are going. And, it was upon that realization that I decided I won't stress this vacation, I wont plan so much...I will take it all in stride. We will get there when we arrive, we will do as we please, and we will enjoy our time there. And, once I step foot on the beach I will breathe in the amazing salty air...and enjoy. Nothing will ruin this vacation for me. It's a mind set...nothing will stress me out...all in stride I keep telling myself...all in stride...so, take me to the ocean... Rob and I were discussing hard times in the past, and how amazing God is, in that he just gives us this "out of no where strength.." when we need it the most. There have been times in my life...many times I should add that I have sat and really thought to myself, "I cannot do this..." "I'm not smart enough for this..." "I am not strong enough for this.." "I cannot take anymore..". But, God does something amazing, when I come to him with my woe's and my worries...he straps this amazing "jet-pack" right on my back, and I am able to push through anything :-) God just tosses a jet-pack on us, and well, we just keep going...I find that peaceful...with God, I really can do anything... Both parties agree the marriage is "irretrievably broken." This is how today's divorce paperwork is now worded. There was once a time where there were NOT "no-fault" divorces. There was a time when divorce was actually NOT condoned, and instead fixing what was broken was highly encouraged. Today our world is minded very differently. No-fault divorces make up 50% of our population they say, and we sign our names to a dotted line below a statement that reads, "the marriage is irretrievably broken." Is there such a thing as irretrievably broken? And, what does that even mean? Well, the statement means that no matter what anyone does, tries, says, or attempts there will be no reconciliation as a result. Discussion will not help, therapy will not help, trial separation will not help...nothing....there is no hope. That is so sad, isn't it? When you really think about it. Who are we to say there is no hope? Because, we are taught that where there is God, there is always hope. Right? I feel like when you reach the point you are discussing the BIG D you might need to re-evaluate yourself...not just slander your once-was-partner. I'm not quite sure where I was headed with this entry...I know a few people enduring divorce, in the midst of divorce, and ending a divorce...I suppose that's what sparked my interest.... Thought for today...where there is God, there is ALWAYS hope...not just in divorce...in anything...cancer...arguments...estrangements...friendships...there is always hope... I sit tonight writing to you listening to John Mayer's "Covered in Rain.." and drinking an amazing Hornsby's beer...(which, typically I might not admit...but, I guess tonight I'm feeling extra honest.). But, I want to tell you something amazing. This song, "Covered in Rain.." this has been my all time favorite song for 10+ years. I love it. I can recall when this song was released, listening to it over and over..the guitar, the piano...his voice...the lyrics which speak so so many volumes to me...I can remember thinking, "I'm eager to listen to this song when life has placed me right where I need to be...and with whom I am supposed to be with...". Tonight I did just that, and I could have cried at the recollection of what was the "good ole' days." Had anyone told me I would be right here...on Nettleton Ave...with Rob as my husband and two children I would have laughed in their face. But, right now, in this moment I am happy. I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and I am listening to an all time favorite remembering that those were not the "good ole days.." these, these...right here and now, these are the good ole' days. And, tonight I am extra grateful for music which can bring back memories, help create new ones, express feelings...and give us these feelings of "this is right where I'm supposed to be..". This season's favorites: -Season finale of our favorite show... -Moscato and fried egg sandwiches for dinner -Green olives -Three day weekend! -Natalie in dresses! -Aiden's hilarious sense of humor -Mid-day rain storms -Belief that what goes around, really does come around... -and, jellyshoes! (I realize I am 28 years old, but, I feel like my feet are NEVER too old for jellyshoes) I do not always do my tasks with a smile on my face...and I should. I woke up one morning this week and had a scowl on my face remembering that there were clothes in the dryer that I forgot to fold the night before. I'm goofy that way, I really dislike waking up to a messy house. I always have coffee ready to go with the timer, the house is picked up...laundry is always put away...toys are put up. Everything is neat when I lay my head down. I allowed that stinkin' scowl to dictate my attitude of the day. Each task was done with a sign as though it would never end, I was weary that day...and flat out cranky! That was just not ok! I am not supposed to be this grumpy. I realized that the work I was doing was not being done with love, and that is so sad. I was not seeing each task as a privilege...ok....I do not skip into my mudroom and say "I GET TO DO LAUNDRY TODAY!!! YAY!" But, I kinda should. I should be grateful I have a family to care for...we have clothes...way more than we need....we are richly blessed and I was not seeing that, that day. I let the fact that I had to fold laundry cloud the fact that I have a beautiful family God blessed me with to care for. Maybe instead of saying "I have to go fold the laundry..." We should say..."...I get to go fold laundry for my family...." Have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend! I've heard it said oh, a billion times..."we must die to self to truly be God's instrument.."(or some version of that..) We've all heard it, but, do we live it? Nope. I sure try, but, I fail miserably. To wake up each day toss out my hands, and say.."bring it on!" That's a little scary to me...to let someone else take the reins....for this OCD girl that makes me nervous. But, I'm getting better....think of how much MORE life we could live, and experience if we really tuned into God and let him take over 100%. I really feel like we'd be loving much much more. C.S. Lewis said it like this.. "The real son of God is at your side. He is beginning to turn you into the same kind of thing as himself. He is beginning, so to speak, to "inject" his kind of life and thought...into you; beginning to turn the tin soldier into a live man. The part of you that does not like it is the part that is still tin." Mere Christianity Yep, there is still some tin man left in me. However, I'm better than I was. I feel like we often become stiff in our religion...we go to church, we teach the classes, volunteer, enroll our kids in "stuff", but outside of that what do we do?? Rob and I made a commitment that this next November (Thanksgiving) we are going to fast...our children will fast...and until we've gone to a kitchen and served those far less fortunate we wont eat. We all need to be a bit uncomfortable while we serve others who live in a state of uncomfortable all of the time. It's little things like that, that I need to be a part of. I really really never want to become stale in my service. I want God to take me and use me however he feels the need, and I cannot be of any use just living the mundane routine over and over. Goodbye self...hello God... I read something this morning...that was so well said, I cannot claim this as my own, and I'm uncertain where the quotes derives, but, I can tell you that it is wonderful..."seeking validation is the same as saying "tell me who I am! Tell me what I am worth!"...tell YOURSELF!" I happen to believe that we spend too much time seeking approval, validation, and acceptance from far too many people. I'm here to tell you that I am guilty of it too. However, recently I've learned that what matters the most is that I am safe and comfortable in my own skin. I do not want to live in toxic skin...unhappy skin...I want to reside somewhere with a warm and kind heart, I want to love deeply, and I want to put good into our world...I accept myself as I am. I do not need someone else to tell me they accept me. I'm a work in progress, and I'm never satisfied with myself as I am...but, I am comfortable in my skin...I believe we should all be a work in progress...as a wife and mother I always need to be trying to improve...however, I do not need validation. I know so many people...so many walks of life...so many odd familyships, friendships, relationships...so much that is so different in so many ways...but, I love the difference in people...I do not need to know someone else's life story to accept them...God made them, and He wants us to love one another. That is just that. I do not require an elaborate production to approve of someone, I do not need to know the in's and out's of where they came from and why...I need to know someone's heart...and who they are right now, in this moment. I guess while others are busy seeking acceptance, validation, and approval I want to be busy walking forward...you can walk with me...or you can walk behind me...that's your choice...but, I choose to be busy living while you are busy deciding of you accept me or not. I do not need someone else to utter the words "I accept you..." to allow myself a sigh of relief...I accept me...and really, that is all that matters. I love this picture. Aiden is officially out of school for the summer, Miss. Natalie is getting so big...eating everything we will let her...playing...somewhat trying to crawl...Rob is busy being a Dad...and, I'm busy trying to be the glue that keeps it all together...our family is excited for what this summer might bring. God, continue to protect my family...keep us safe this summer...teach us love...and kindness...guide all 4 of us... "What do you think?" "Did I do the right thing?" "What should I say...?" "What do I do?" "Help me." "I need some advice..." "I need to talk..." These are all things I say to my husband...oh, on a weekly basis! There is something very calming about Rob, and his level head. Men in general seem to think much more logically than women, and I am too much woman when it comes to some things in life...I'm too emotional. So, Rob is the best person I know to turn to for advice, to talk it all out, an opinion, and just guidance. A song comes to mind, "Lead Me," by Sanctus Real. (look it up, it's well worth it). I wrote to you months ago about being lonely...how at one point in my life I was so lonely..I was so envious of those women who had someone to turn to...someone to make decisions with...someone to lean on...someone who was just there. I knew I didn't want just someone...just anyone...I wanted a man, a godly man...someone who believed and had a strong faith. I knew that was a NEED for me. And, as God ALWAYS seems to do, he blessed me far more than I deserve with Rob. God placed him in my life at the exact right time, and he gave me a man that is so sound, logical, faithful, real, and loving. My husband generally knows best...ok, I have to add here, I've been able to let "I told ya so..." slip out a few times, but, it was never really BIG matters...it was oh, the cooking time for something...or when to give Aiden and Nat a bath...it was something Motherly....Rob knows best when it comes to big decisions...when it comes to doing the right thing, when it comes to drawing the line..when it comes to taking emotion out of it...Rob knows best. And, when it comes to protecting me...and this family...Rob knows best. He's not a superhero....he's not capable of seeing the future or knowing exactly what an outcome will be...but, he does rest his decisions in faith...he does turn to God...and he is a stronger man because of it. I turn 28 years old today, and while this will be the last birthday I wish to celebrate I have big hopes and dreams for 28. This 28th year I choose to be more appealing, more attractive, and more authentic. No, I won't be getting plastic surgery this year, liposuction, or any augmentations or reductions...instead I plan to achieve these three A's by immersing myself even more in God, my husband, and my children. I believe the most beautiful women are made absolutely gorgeous by their hearts. I really want to be one of those women that has just a beautiful heart. I want exactly what Psalm 103:8 proclaims "...slow to anger, and quick to abounding love..." Psalms teaches us that Jesus is exactly this, and we are to thrive to be Christ-like. I need to work on this in my 28th year...I do believe it will make me more beautiful. 1 Corinthians 13 will also be my guide this 28th year with these thoughts on love... New International Version (NIV) 13 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith" that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient,love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.But the greatest of these is love. This 28th year...though the calendar would mark me one year older I plan to restore a more playful-child-like fun nature, a deeply mature spiritual heart, and improve myself to be more appealing, attractive, and authentic. Watch me go... Aiden brought this home from school today as one of his last projects. This was the last page to his year-long book he has been working on. #8. That is all I know to say. #8 means something, I'm doing something right...this was such a prize. I love my son. I love my daughter....God knew I needed to see #8 Thank you Lord for two amazing children. Thank you especially for growing a heart of kindness, love, and compassion in my son. Please keep working in him...live in his heart...love him...and please guide me as his Mother. Thank you Lord, for #8. There we sat last night, in a gym full of people waiting for our little Aiden to grace us on stage for his Spring Program (which, I might add...he did fabulous!) And, as we sat there waiting we did what any two parents of a little baby girl might...try and keep her occupied..happy..and at least content enough to record the program and make a b-line for the door to meet our little kiddo after. People behind us were enjoying the toothy little grin of my baby girl, and telling us how pretty she was.(as a parent we never get sick of that, do we?) And, Rob pointed out a woman to my right that was staring "mind bullets" into us I guess. I had seen this woman so many times at soccer, and other school functions and she just always looks so forlorn, so sad, as if she was forced to be right where she was and is really just upset about it. This woman is a grandmother of one of the older children at the school....I do know that much, but, why she was giving us "the eye" I had no idea. I glanced over to offer her a smile, and WHAT....I WAS REJECTED! That does not happen! How can you possibly reject someone smiling at you??? AND WITH A BABY IN ARM???!!! HOW???? Goodness, Rob and I sat there whispering to one another about what her "problem" might be, and Rob devoted her the name of "the woman who forgot to smile..." Alright, it was not appropriate for us to sit there and talk about her..and, it was not until this morning that I thought I really should have walked over to her, introduced myself for once, and said hi. It's so hard for me to over come rejection with niceness...because, well, I feel rejected. But, maybe she had lost a grand-baby...maybe she was mourning..maybe she lost a spouse...maybe something happened in her year that was a horrible travesty...maybe she has no friends to speak of....maybe she just hated my top I was wearing...who knows...the point is that just because we are rejected that does not give us the right to just shrug people off. Lesson learned....next time, I will help the woman who forgot to smile... I guess with vacation planning, packing, and prep...along with the other things I add to my list of expectations, and plans, I got myself a bit overwhelmed. My sweet tooth just blasted off over the past few weeks...I swear, if it was sweet..I ate it! My coffee consumption was well...ALL day...and my exercise had taken a backseat. Today, it hit me..I have not stopped to take a deep breath in days. I've been fighting a two week long sinus infection and so busy planning and preparing for so many upcoming things that I have not stopped. It caught up with me! Natalie is going through an odd little growth spurt that has our "routine" a bit jumbled, and today for the first time she put herself down for a nap. I walked in to check on her, to find the little miss peacefully sleeping. Her little cheeks glowing pink, and her little hands calm and at rest. It was right there, in that moment that I stopped to breathe. THIS is where it is at. This is where peace is. Watching my little baby girl rest her mind, and her body safely in the home we provide for our family. My heart thought of all the little babies, and children that have so little...the babies that do not have a safe place to rest their heads...the poor children to who are scared to fall asleep....and, in that moment I thanked God for a home, His word to guide us, a husband that is stronger and more manly than I had ever dreamed, and two children to care for. Thank you God, for richly blessing this family. Thank you for guiding me each day. Thank you for your protection, your grace, and your love. Thank you God for our little children that count on us. Help me to be the best mother I can possibly be for them. And, God, please protect those little children that are less fortunate. Help them to find you, and to find peace. "The more we reveal of ourselves-the more vulnerable and transparent we are-the more appealing, attractive, and authentic we become." -Thin Again- I really had no idea what to write about today, and discovered this quote from a wonderful book 'Thin Again,' and realized that was just perfect! Revealing ourselves, our TRUE self is really difficult, especially in a society that would have us believe we all should, and need to be perfect. I've said it so many times this past year, to Rob especially that I admire anyone who can humble themselves enough to ask for forgiveness...and who can say what is true. Anyone who can admit to a struggle, profess a struggle, and show who they really are..I admire that, there is something very real, very stark about that to me. There are so many people in my history that have molded my thoughts and have proven to me that a REAL person is very attractive. A person who has endured some less than desirable things, a person who has made some not so fabulous choices...but, a person who has learned from them, and is able to speak about them. I so admire that. Anyone who can take a rough or what would seem to be a negative experience and turn it into good for themselves and others...I love that. I know people, I am one of those people that so often will slap on a smile when I am struggling...and while I do think we should try to always smile through even heartache, it is also very appropriate to humble ourselves and endure the emotions we need to. I think saying what is on our hearts is so admirable. I've told Rob MANY times "ok...don't judge me, but, I feel..." or "it might not be right...but, I feel...". There is something freeing in showing our true colors, showing the good and the bad when we need to. Revealing our true emotions is not always easy, and so many repress those feelings, so many shut the door on those feelings and forget that it is liberating speaking them, it is healthy to speak them...and, often working through them comes easier when you say them aloud and express. When we are transparent we become very real to ourselves, and to the people that surround us. I love transparency....I love when people show their true colors..and often, it is times of crisis that we learn who someone really is. I do agree, that when we open these doors to transparency we become more vulnerable to persecution and judgement...but, we are also freed. We are so real, and often times people are not judging our emotions, they are more likely judging us because transparency doesn't come as easy to them. I think you'll find the people that shut the door often struggle the most and tend the endure things on their own more often...which, in my opinion is not always the most healthy option. It's a practice...opening up and being a book others can read it not easy at all. I know that first hand. However, think of all of the lives we can impact by our realness! Think of all the people we might be able to help, people who know they are no longer alone. Be real today....and, I will try right along with you. Share the true emotions that you feel....say you are sorry when you need to...admit when you are wrong...and be freed...saving face is no longer important...your honor..your prestige is not important...be real....REAL IS THE NEW BEAUTIFUL... I've seen, I've heard, I've witnessed, and I've talked to many Mom's. When I was working full-time at a PAYING job..you know, one that paid REAL money :-) I worked with women who were pregnant...all walks of life...I saw the good and the bad. Let me tell you, that job taught me so much. Of course I had friends growing up, and I saw what their Mom's were like also...there is always good and bad...but, one thing I believe that remains universal is the importance of being PRESENT. Being there, engaged, interested, and energetic. While I understand each day we are not 100%, in fact, I feel that most days I am not 100%, it's important to try. I've seen Mom's that break my heart...Mom's that I know do not get up, get dressed, and at least attempt to get with the program. Mom's that have no idea what their children are having for breakfast...if anything. I've seen Mom's that will stay in bed all day long, door shut...completely disengaged in their children. I've seen Mom's who could not tell you what their child is learning at school. I've seen Mom's watch TV all day long...and snap at their children when they make a peep. I've seen, and heard it all...and let me tell you, this angers me more than anything you can imagine. Our children did not ASK to be brought into this world...some of our children were planned, some were not...but, they are innocent in all of this and they truly deserve the best we can give them with the time they are at home with us. It is such a gift to children when you are there, when you are present in conversation with them...when you show a true interest in the Lego they just built, or the fact that they can now pick up food with their little fingers. Kids need that to build confidence, and they need to know that home is safe...home is where they are loved..supported..cared about...and their feelings are really important at home. Pastor Ryan was talking yesterday about being an example for our children. If our little babies see us in bed all day, and disengaged do you think they will be any different or have high expectations for themselves? If we are dropping off our children at the church doors and zooming off to pick them up later do you really think they are learning anything from us? Goodness no. My children need to see me walking into those front doors...holding their hands and being happy to be there. My children deserve that example from me, and I am a better Mom for being there...being present and immersing myself in The Word. Lets give our little blessings one of the greatest gifts we can...the gift of us..us at our best..being present for them... An anniversary, AND Mothers Day all in one!?!? Yes, please! I'm so blessed!!!!! My family is so wonderful to me. I do not always have it perfect, but, I love my family...I am the Mom in all of this, and I have no idea how or why...but, we've made it this far by the grace of a generous God. Here's to many many more Mothers Day's together with my two little blessings. Today's sermon was such a great reminder...I feel compelled to share my notes with you: Great Mom's bless their children by... -feeding them the WORD. (the Word will last, toy's will not) How can we do this? -BRING THEM TO CHURCH -Set the example. Don't just drop them off at the doors...walk in..BE the example. -Get a Bible they can understand. -Encourage their potential -Remember, ADULT children still need your affirmation. -Hold them accountable -Celebrate their victories I am a Mother. I do sleepless nights... I do cough medicine...breathing treatments...allergy medicine...I do breakfast... I do my showers when my husband makes it home at the end of the day... My beauty routine is less than 20 minutes. I do prayers... I rub heads to soothe... I talk when I do not always want to. I do knock-knock jokes...classroom volunteering...soccer practice...and, doctors appointments.. I do toys...books...and crafts... I pull strength from God when I so often have nothing left of my own to give... I do safety...security...and slumber parties... I am a Mother... I make mistakes, but, I am quick to correct them... I do "I'm sorry...please forgive me..." I do laughter... I do punishment...training...and teaching... I do second chances...third...and fourth... I do caring.. I do fun... I do things I always want to remember being done... I do laundry, dishes, cooking, and cleaning... I am a Mother... I do confidence when it's not always simple... I do beautiful when I feel at my worst... I do worry...and I do scared...I do excited...I have to do fair. I do this thing called Mothering...I do it each day...all day...everyday... I do it with God...and he carries me. He carries this Mother because I couldn't do this Mothering thing without someone greater than I am. I do Mothering..I do it with God. Our garage...a mess....our basement...a mess...stuff, stuff, and what's that? Oh, yes, MORE STUFF!!!! I've had my hardly ever idle hands very busy this morning going room to room trashing junk that we no longer need....sorting out what fits and what does not, and I believe as of right now I am up to about 4 piles of donation things that will find their home at the DAV this weekend. I LOVE cleaning out things. I LOVE going room to room, closet to closet, sorting and purging what is no longer needed. This weekend we tackle the garage and the basement, I absolutely cannot wait! I love the feeling of a nice clean garage, a nice clean basement, and closet space once we are out with the old. It's so nice to clean out the cobwebs and the little dust bunnies that hide under the beds, and in the closets. :-) Kind of reminds you of the game of life doesn't it....out with the old...in with the new...and constantly trying to improve. I LOVE that! :-) It's been a perfect morning. Coffee has been my best friend going from room to room with me...and Miss Natalie has been amazing at keeping busy, playing in my little piles of things to go. I look outside and the world around us is so green after the rain...my mail-man just dropped off the mail with his usual smile, nod, and a wave....I love days like today. I have a wonderful life, and I am so grateful. Oh, and we received an anniversary card in the mail I just discovered...I know that to some that really is not a big deal, but, I LOVE getting cards in the mail...it warms my heart knowing someone, somewhere is thinking of me/us. Thank you again God for a wonderful life...I am richly blessed beyond what I deserve. Date #1. Mr. Biggs Pizza over the lunch hour. I can remember being sick I was so nervous. I was so close to backing out. I'm pretty certain neither of us ate but a small slice of pizza. I cannot recall our conversation, I was so nervous. All I remember is thinking, "...his car smells so good." Date#2. Celito Lindo Mexican over the lunch hour. I remember I wore my hair curly for this date. You sat across from me and we talked about some hard things to talk about...my brother...past relationships...past hurts...I kept thinking, "'this will be our last date..." But, we walked out of the restaurant and you said, "Are we still on for Friday night?" Oh, a sigh of relief, "Yes!" THE 13 HOUR DATE. You picked me up. I had the day off, and went with Aiden on his field trip. I bought new shoes for our date :-) I was so worried about my hair, my makeup, my outfit....do I have anything in my teeth?? Is my breath fresh? Will he kiss me?? Oh goodness! We went to Five Spice, and talked there for hours...after that we talked for literally 13 hours. 13 hours of us talking, and I fell in love. I found so much peace and safety in your eyes, and knew you were a secure place for me to be just me. The sun was rising as we stopped talking, and decided we should probably end our date that carried over into the next day. Both of us were exhausted. You kissed me, so quickly, and were out the door. That was our first kiss. You went home, and I closed my curtains and tried to get some sleep...I was so excited that sleep alluded me. I might have dozed off for maybe 20 minutes until I heard my phone chime..."I'm afraid that first kiss might be our last..." I knew this was different. We were in love. And, three hours after our 13 hour date ended, we were together again...talking...walking at the park. Sitting on our bench. I had my hair up in pins and I remember you saying, "it's crazy how you get your hair to stay up like that...". We dated, we loved one another. There were no games, no fights....you were safe, and you loved me. Just as me. You were crazy about me, and I was crazy about you. My heart flew up into my throat each time you were around and I will never forget that feeling. We've been married for one year now. We've walked hand-in-hand facing obstacles, making choices, raising children, laughing, crying, and day-by-day one thing remains...your love. You are consistent. You are never wavering. You are a true man. You are safety. So for our next year we made a decision. SOME BIG decisions. We've committed to a few major marriage challenges. Things that will challenge us both in many capacities, and I write to you now so enthusiastic about the endeavors we are taking on together, as a couple. We've had our moments...some harder than others. Our marriage has not been perfect 100% of the way. I've messed up a time or two, and so has Rob...but, one thing remains...our desire for this marriage to move mountains. (alright, it sounds slightly cheesy when you say it like that...but, I do believe this marriage is capable of producing amazing things...we've already proven that..I cannot wait to see what else we can do together). I think one thing I really learned this year in marriage is that the external world can wreck havoc on a marriage if you allow it. I've learned that other people, outside of this marriage...other problems do not always need our attention, and I cannot fix the world around me at the sacrifice of my marriage. I did have a period where I thought I could juggle the woes of the world and still maintain my marriage. I learned very quickly that is an impossibility. I've learned that saying no is really sometimes is saying yes to my marriage. I also learned that together as a couple we can impact lives in such a positive way. We both have a heart that wishes to give to others who might have less, or need more. In asking Rob what he has learned I discovered that he now is able to see things from someone else's perspective...Rob said he never loved anyone enough to do that before me. He said because of our marriage he is now able to do that with me, and other people. Rob went on to say that he has also learned to branch out and try new things. (he said I would laugh when he said that..and I did slightly). Coffee would be an example...he had never liked coffee before, and he also went on to say that he's accepted to always have 4 things of different flavored creamers in the refrigerator. Lastly, Rob said he's now learned to share, express, and describe his emotions. And, I might tell you...that is a very attractive quality in a man. Most men really struggle in this department, and while I believe Rob is 120% man, this quality bumps him right up to 150%! I love Rob. I love the way we became man and wife...and here we are. One year of marriage, and we've promised countless more to one another. Thank you God for a real man. A man who is perfect for me. Help me be a good wife...no, the BEST wife I can be. Wrap our marriage up, and guard it. We both so desire this marriage, and do so love it. This marriage was a blessing to us both, help us to always see it as such. God, I love my husband...and I do not mind to say that he puts all other men to shame (I can say that in a prayer, right?) :-) 5-11-2014 Rob&Kimberly Mooney one year So so many amazing things for our family this weekend!!! Mothers Day, and a wedding anniversary!!! I love the month of May...oh, and MY BIRTHDAY!!! |
Author Kimberly MooneyAspiring author, full time mother, and wife. CategoriesArchives
August 2016
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