Also, we made a special trip to Bass Pro where Aiden discovered that Santa REALLY DOES know his name!
Hey there all. I so very much realize my blog writing has gone from max to min in such a short amount of time...blame it on the holidays! Good news is, however, Aiden, Natalie and myself took lunches to the homeless hotel in Springfield (Rob and I made them the night before), I spent most of the day Saturday shopping like a mad woman and I loved every minute of it (one lady told me I needed a husband to carry my bags...I was quick to tell her "I'm way more productive when he's not over-seeing each dollar I spend), our Christmas tree is up and just beautiful....we've been busy. Oh, and, we grilled tonight! Can you believe this weather!! So so happy about it! We had a very productive weekend. :-) Also, we made a special trip to Bass Pro where Aiden discovered that Santa REALLY DOES know his name!
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Our house has a very busy week ahead...lunches to make for the homeless...Thanksgiving Parties at school...side dishes to take to dinner...and Christmas decorating to be done :-) Hopefully whatever bug seems to be going around quickly leaves this house as well...all weekend we've all felt just a little "run down"...praying we've had our "bout" with it and it'll move on! Updates: Natalie took her first REAL steps on Friday!!!! She still prefers to crawl...but, she's FINALLY walking. *First ER trip with Natalie was last week on Thursday...a little fall had us there..and over-protective Mom HAD to go to the ER :-) All is well with her. *Mr. Aiden received the "responsible" award at school recently, and was so very proud. *We are making sack lunches for the homeless-those that will be denied at the soup kitchens, etc will at least have a sack lunch given to them on Thanksgiving Day. (yes, they do deny people...they cannot feed everyone). *I'm making homemade beards for the Christmas program...they are turning out pretty awesome...and I've become so close to a sweet woman helping me. It's amazing what a blessing companionship is for us women :-) *Rob has ton's of stuff coming up at work that I can hardly keep it all straight! *Aiden and I are taking a trip on the Polar Express in December! It's a surprise to him...and I can hardly keep it a secret! These next few weeks hold so much to be done...lots of family time...and I'm so very grateful for the family that I have here to enjoy. Thinking of you Mom...love you...miss you... Thanksgiving is upon us, and I've spent the morning doing phone calls...getting some things squared away, but, what I have loved the most was leaving messages...talking to different groups...etc...about where Rob, myself, and Miss Natalie can serve on Thanksgiving Day. Aiden will be with his Dad part of the day until it's time for our evening dinner...but, the three of us intend on giving back. I'm so excited to be in the presence of those who need our service...I'm excited to serve someone who needs to be served... I've seen so much on the news lately concerning the homeless population in America, in fact, I heard today that it's at an all time high...and one of the most staggering statistics states that 1 in every 30 children is homeless or has been homeless within the past year. It breaks my heart, children are innocent and I really believe each little innocent face deserves a warm meal, shelter, and love. I guess Thanksgiving Day will be our day to reach out to all of the people we possibly can. I look at my two children and thank God so often that they are safe, happy, healthy, WARM, and that their little tummies are always full. I think we are so often overwhelmed by the luxuries in life (and I'm not exempt from that) that we forget the basics are REALLY important...to someone near by, the basics could be a big luxury. I was talking the other day about a pair of boots I wanted...and, while I still want the boots...I sit here almost embarrassed. My side of the closet is FULL of shoes...clothes....scarves....etc...some are walking the streets barefooted. There are some BABIES, and children who are sleeping in homeless camps in the woods, and I will tell you that the high here in Springfield Missouri today is 26 degrees. THAT'S THE HIGH! I sit here writing you thinking about my kids...my daughter who is in her fleece PJ's, in her warm bed, and resting peacefully...my son who is at school...warm...getting a great education...and then my heart goes to the babies and children living on the street...enduring this bitter cold...hungry. So, I'm waiting on several call's back concerning where we will help out Thanksgiving Day! God has put it in my heart to be out there....because if I don't....if WE don't...who will? Well....I broke down in Hobby Lobby yesterday..something about all of the smells...decor...the CHRISTMAS EVERYWHERE that just made me break. I cried my eyes out in the "paper" section and in the "fabric" section....oh, and every section in-between. It's hard...I miss her...but, this is still such a special time of year... Tomorrow our Christmas lights will go up!!! That's a really big deal!!! Yippe!! Soon furniture will find a temporary new home to make room for tree's and our house that is already cozy....well...it'll become even more cozy as trips outside are already becoming minimal. Bittersweet...Christmas this year is just bittersweet. We were corralling Aiden into bed a few nights ago...and, yes...corralling is the correct word for him....this kid does all he can to delay bedtime..but, this time...it melted my heart instead of my patience. Aiden said..."the lamb was sacrificed...and if the blood wasn't on the doors..the Angel of Death would kill them...". This came while we were tucking him under his covers...entirely out of no where! My little 6 year old boy, who remembers close to everything was reciting details from the Passover story. I love that he is learning these things that are so integral to his faith and to the morals we so hope to raise our children with. It's so neat hearing their little innocent voices recite these stories with such conviction, and excitement. Mommy and Mooney Moment I'll always remember. I'm not 100% sure how I did it, considering we use the dishwasher "pods", BUT, today I managed to fill the cute little dishwasher detergent soap door with dish-soap. I filled it up, closed that cute little door, shut the thing...started it..walked away and walked into my kitchen later which was almost half full of suds....leaking from the bottom. My first thought "the dishwasher is now broken, Rob won't be happy..". So, I stood there watching my little daughter play in the bubbles and thought..."well, I can fix this!" I opened the dishwasher and there a beautiful cascade of MORE BUBBLES let themselves into my kitchen and settled themselves over my feet and practically over Miss Natalie's head :-) The culprit...the pink soap...I realized what I had done. Finally, I managed to get the kitchen squared away. (This coming after last week...when I thought I'd wash all of our pillows...DON'T TRY THAT...I messed up our washer and our basement received a nice wash). I keep telling Rob that I keep him on his toes :-) Last night I finally made it to the gym to work out! Natalie is feeling more like herself...and was able to play in the daycare area for about an hour, where once I finished I picked her up and she exclaimed "Oh, mama!" :-) But, let me tell you...I always make a calorie goal for myself on the machines...I'm not sure why, but I do. Last night I decided I would work out on this machine until I had burned off 500 calories...I put my ear buds into my ears and I took off. I listened to so much music, and found myself so lost in thought over my Mom. Each song brought something to me...I found myself exercising harder and harder...smiling at some points, and crying at others. I kept hoping everyone around me that might notice would just think it was sweat. I worked out my body until so many emotions were out of me, and it was so amazing! Once I finished, the man next to me said, "I don't think I've seen anyone smile so big stepping off of an elliptical machine."..I guess someone did notice...my response..."You have no idea!" Lastly...I've turned into my Grandma!!! Ever since I've been very small...as far back as I can recall...I can remember my Grandmother telling me that she writes the President all of the time, and HE HIMSELF writes her back. She called President Bush Sr. her "friend." Nope, she never met him, but,, via his "personal" correspondence they are "friends" in her mind. :-) In fact, she's probably on every political mailing list known to man...and following her stay here in Missouri a few months ago...my Uncle had to honestly go to the AIRPORT to pick up her mail because there was so much of it! Yep, it's her thing...her hobby. So, a week ago I was watching a press conference with Mr. President and felt so compelled to write him, and, I did...Rob laughs at me, and I know Mr. President himself might not ever receive my very heartfelt letter...but, it's the idea behind it, and the thought :-) So, Grandma...I too write the President! I have an affair with my coffee! I do! Once everyone is out of the house....Rob is off to work, Aiden is at school...and Miss Natalie takes her morning nap...my coffee and me we sit together, and we write...we clean...man...I enjoy my coffee! And, all I wanted today was a warm cup of coffee! It's now 11:09 am and I'm writing you from my very messy house with my coffee (that I've heated up in the microwave at least 5 times since 6:50 am) and that has sat on my messy kitchen counter while Natalie and I went to the dentist. Humph...I never realized what a luxury a warm cup o' coffee is!!! This morning was a blessing to me...rushed...messy...crazy busy...but, my sister had sent me a message that honestly made me cry a bit. We have a goofy relationship and I answered her question yesterday by telling her something I loved about her...I was in a hurry, and sent her a very honest response, but quick...I told her "the way you make people feel warm and cozy and loved," and "your pretty". Then, I moved on to my next task, and while I gave my response to her thought and ensured to tell her something I really did love about her, she gave her answer to me so much more thought....it was a paragraph of why she loved me. So, as I was in the floor changing my daughters diaper I read her response and teared up. That's what true love is, being able to tell others why you love them so much. That meant so much to me. I guess we beat ourselves down so much sometimes as Mom's...we are never enough in our own eyes, that we forget to others we are so valuable...there is so much that others love about us. That's a really big deal. Cold coffee and all, I'm loved. Natalie had her first dental appointment today, and she did absolutely f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c! I am so proud of the little Miss, and the dentist said everything looks wonderful...but, we are teething with a vengeance. (duh! I wanted to say...I'm with her 24//7) :-) This "mom business" is hard...its rewarding...but, it's hard...it just is...I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love them so very much and one day I will look back and wish they were this size forever. Have a wonderful day! Heard from my dental office today: "Let's see Mrs. Mooney, we can actually get you in this Thursday for your dental work..."(her) LOL...NO! I have plans...you'll have to wait until next week. (me) After 2 weeks with zero exercise, and a very teething, runny nose, cough, and slight fever little baby...and being held up at home...yesterday was my limit. I had absolutely had it. To top it all off....Miss Natalie has some very severe attachment issues. These two weeks with nothing but Mom all day, everyday has been not so great for her major attachment. I sent Rob a message at one point yesterday telling him I NEEDED him to take a day off to be in charge and let me just go for an entire day to do as I please. It didn't take much convincing on his part, he was all over the idea...in fact, he suggested I go to a spa or do something to treat myself! His exact words were "this Thursday...you aren't a Mom." Goodness...Thursday cannot come soon enough. Parenting is hard. I wish someone had really told me how hard it truly is, and the amount of worry it comes with. -are they warm -are they full -does he know all he needs to for school -are they developing ok -am I spending enough time with them -am I spending too much time with them -did I pack enough food in his lunch -did they sleep enough -are they coughing...... -am I teaching them enough -am I a good role model It's enough to make my head spin on some days. Then, God kinda washes over me and tells me that where I might not be able to carry them...He will....and I find so much safety right there. I pray that to God daily "God...when I mess up, or when I cannot be around them or with them...carry them for me." Magical thing, He does...every single time. God has never failed me. Now, let's get back to my "mommy meltdown" Thursday is my day! I only have one appointment I MUST attend to, outside of that my possibilities are endless. It's crazy what this Mommy-hood does to us...I'm more excited for one single day than I am anything else. Ha...truth is, probably after an hour I'll be ready to come home. Thank you God for covering my "blank" spots,for a husband who "get's it", and for children that really do need me as their Mom, but also need to be to take care of myself. For as long as I can recall I've loved this Audrey Hepburn quote. It's beautiful, starkly beautiful. So, it got me to thinking about confidence as women and stepping out where others might not. Confidence is a beautiful quality...arrogance....not so much, but confidence just is. I've found in this journey, this mother-hood thing requires confidence. I'm going to mess up, I HAVE messed up...and that's totally ok. When I'm making these mistakes I'm involved, I'm trying, and I'm learning.
Believe in something today...believe in yourself. I swear, when you are living life with a grieving heart some days you are just much more tired, much more tense, and your sense of humor...well, wait..WHAT SENSE OF HUMOR? Yesterday was a day like that for me. I found myself in the basement reading through some of my Mom's things and from that point on my day took a wrong turn. I was cranky, emotional, and tired. I've found that I'm really not ready to go through her things...it's just not my time and it might not ever be my time. Last night my two children were tucked away in their cozy beds, early even! So, I decided I would tuck myself into my big cozy bed and get a wonderful night's sleep....lol...ha ha ha...Mommy-hood proved me wrong! About 10pm my little Aiden started in with his reactive airway cough (oh, how I hate this time of year for him and his cough)....he coughed...he coughed...and he coughed....I looked at the clock and 2 hours into my "wonderful slumber" I knew it was time to get up....we started breathing treatments at 10pm....and his inhaler...we moved to another room so he could prop up and watch a movie while he was inhaling his medication...and I was tired...but, I was there...I was rubbing the messy blonde hair on his head while his tired little eyes took his breathing treatment. As Albuterol will do to kids, he was pretty awake after his treatment...we rubbed Vick's on his little feet, back, and chest and he felt much better. We looked at one another and just kinda laughed....it was late..it was really late for my 6 year old little turkey to be up....but, we made light of the situation. I couldn't find the Vick's lid for the life of me and I asked him if he had swallowed it :-) I'm learning humor is much needed in this motherhood journey and after a few moments of laughter things were better...my tired was dulled a bit, and my sweet little Aiden...well, thank goodness his cough suppressed and he slept soundly the rest of the night. I'm one of those people that needs sleep....yeah..I know most people do..but, my mood needs sleep I think more than I physically need sleep :-) I'm learning humor helps so much in this and I sometimes forget that. Laughter really is the best medicine so very often. Have a wonderful day....laugh! I loathe co-dependent relationships with our children...they just are not healthy for anyone at all...so let me preface what I'm about to say with that. No, I am not co-dependent on my children...HOWEVER, my children DID get me where I needed and need to be for the holidays. You know I told you about the Christmas BOOK ads I laid out for Mr. Aiden? Well..it helped me...seeing the joy and excitement on his little face as he perused those ads made my heart happy. Looking back at him and Natalie dancing away in the backseat to Christmas music made my heart happy and light. So, yesterday while Aiden was at school...and busy with his Grandma Miss Natalie and I did so much work outside. We put on our windy weather clothes and we mowed, we mulched, we bagged up leaves, sticks, etc and just got the yard prepared for winter. I was sad over the weekend to pull up and cut back my beautiful plants (that were so very frost bitten) BUT, yesterday made me see...we are preparing for the celebration of our Savior's birthday! THAT'S A BIG DEAL. We do all of this for HIM, and I think that concept and demonstrating that to my children really helped me. I was happy (I usually am) to be outside working...outside is so good for me, and watching Natalie pick up the walnuts all over our yard was so precious..her little hands were just stained with walnut goo (I'm sure there's a correct term for it). We had fun. I'm excited to pick out treasures for my loved ones to give them this Christmas...I'm excited to put up our lights...I'm excited to prepare our place for this BIG celebration. My children got me into the spirit. I was scared of Christmas without my Mom this year...but, I'm finding my peace, although I miss her...she's spending Christmas in the most perfect of places and she is worshiping our Lord in a way that none of us here on this Earth can even comprehend. I cannot imagine what Heaven is like at Christmas, but, my very own Mom gets to experience it. Mowing, mulching, and yard clean up...DONE.... Next project...Rob will wire new electrical outlets for us in the front and the basement. Lights Lights and Lights for Christmas. I love this list I found on preparing your home for winter. It's just a fantastic list to review and ensure you are all set for this winter. So much of these things can be done now while the weather isn't so cold. :-) Have a wonderful day! Goodness!!! All I know to say is GOODNESS! Mr. Aiden and I went to Subway over the weekend...they were proudly playing Christmas music! I told the guy making my sandwich that it was far too early for that business, and he kindly informed me that "it's November." I texted my sister this morning asking her why all of the Christmas decor is up EVERYWHERE...she informed me "it's November." Last night about 8pm I finally got around to reading the Sunday paper and there I found the Toys R' Us Christmas BOOK, and the Target Christmas BOOK. Yes, they are literally BOOKS. I sat them out for my son to look at this morning and he was busy before school marking the items he wants Santa to bring him. On the way to school, we were blaring Christmas music and singing it so very loudly. It's right around the corner...I can hardly believe it... Last night Rob told me he was thinking about taking me to the Russian Nutcracker Ballet....he knows how special it is to me, and it was something my Mom always took me to as a child. As kind as that was of him to offer, I honestly just do not think I could make it through the entire ballet this year. I can hardly talk about it without crying. Christmas is so bittersweet for me. I miss my Mom. I have a large box of her Christmas items, lights, decor, etc sitting in my garage...this weekend I plan to go through it and pick the items I'll adorn this year around my house. I think I'm a little scared to look through it...it's hard, and I miss her so much when I stop and really look at what was once hers. I've been praying that God would bless me with a cheerful Christmas heart this year and bless my kids and family with a wonderful Christmas season. I think God is starting to deliver, because even after I dropped off Mr. Aiden at school...I kept the Christmas music going and I actually got excited about going and picking out our tree, putting up the lights, and just enjoying the season. So, I have God to thank for that blessing. I wont be dead in my sad emotions this Christmas, I will use my energy and be very alive for Christmas...I just will! So much awaits my day today...leaves to be mulched, Halloween items to be put away, and the list goes on. I'm not sure that I have a super proverbial message for you today...other than this...doing the right thing isn't always the easy thing, the popular thing, or the thing that comes naturally...but, living with a Christ-like heart demands compassion, and it does demand doing the RIGHT thing even when it is not easy or natural. You just buck up, and do what's right. "I understand what you are saying...but..." "I do not think you are wrong....however..." "I am not changing my mind on this..." "Let's agree to disagree..." "I think you are right in what you are saying...but..." These were all direct quotes from my kitchen this morning while we made waffles, and had coffee. Rob and I have never had a "fight" in the sense most people tend to fight and for that I am so grateful. However, we do have some disagreements, they are very very far and few in-between (truthfully, I couldn't tell you the last time)...but this morning we couldn't settle to agree on something. I always hate strife. I'm not good at it, and it just makes my heart hurt, and it gives me a pit in my stomach. This morning was different...although we still have differing views and opinions on the matter we hugged one another and walked away just fine. I've learned it is really ok to agree to disagree...it makes us human, and although we are joined as one in marriage, we are two very different minds and that is actually a good thing. So, I'm grateful today for the way we can agree to disagree. |
Author Kimberly MooneyAspiring author, full time mother, and wife. CategoriesArchives
August 2016
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