The days keep coming without fail. The world around me continues to circulate, and I feel as though I'm standing frozen as everyone buzzes around me. The fog is ever so slowly lifting, and each of my thoughts carry me right back to you. This loss, the days before this, and my life before your parting us has become so foreign, I'll never be the same again. Everything looks different, as though I was given brand new eyes. The word "Mother" looks different, and sounds different and has become so loaded.
A peace lily sits in my mudroom...it sits in the same place your shoes were last time you were here. The shoes that are now tied up, and will never again be used. My daughter says "Nana...Nana.." and my heart cracks a bit more...my son says he misses you and that same lump resurfaces into my throat. "Where are you Mom?" Those were my last messages to you....I know where you are now, but, I feel left behind here. Mom, you did equip me well enough for this journey that is life, but, I wanted you to be part of my journey for so much longer.
I'm getting everything done as I once did before all of this. The tasks laid before me are all being accomplished...but, I feel I do them all so occupied with thoughts of you. Do you see me Mom?
I remember you teaching me etiquette, I remember the book you taught me from "Soup Should be Seen, and Not Heard..." I remember you teaching me how to carry myself...what to say...what not to say. I remember talking to you about everything. You were always so wise. You saw things that I often did not.
I remember your gardens, they were always so perfect, so beautiful..and that was one of the last things you told me....how pretty MY gardens were. You have no idea how great that compliment was coming from you.
Mom, I love you. I love you so much.
A peace lily sits in my mudroom...it sits in the same place your shoes were last time you were here. The shoes that are now tied up, and will never again be used. My daughter says "Nana...Nana.." and my heart cracks a bit more...my son says he misses you and that same lump resurfaces into my throat. "Where are you Mom?" Those were my last messages to you....I know where you are now, but, I feel left behind here. Mom, you did equip me well enough for this journey that is life, but, I wanted you to be part of my journey for so much longer.
I'm getting everything done as I once did before all of this. The tasks laid before me are all being accomplished...but, I feel I do them all so occupied with thoughts of you. Do you see me Mom?
I remember you teaching me etiquette, I remember the book you taught me from "Soup Should be Seen, and Not Heard..." I remember you teaching me how to carry myself...what to say...what not to say. I remember talking to you about everything. You were always so wise. You saw things that I often did not.
I remember your gardens, they were always so perfect, so beautiful..and that was one of the last things you told me....how pretty MY gardens were. You have no idea how great that compliment was coming from you.
Mom, I love you. I love you so much.