Today was just an odd day. One of those days that things are always a few steps behind, off kilter, and just not as they should be. It was one of those. We received a phone call informing us that my Uncle had a heart-attack, and is in the hospital in critical condition-unresponsive. My Mothers brother. My heart just broke. And, the first thing...whether it be right or wrong...my heart immediately asked "Why?" Gosh...back to that age-old question. WHY?
Then, my thoughts immediately went to my Mom. I've been vigilant in my prayer all evening, and just praying that God might interject a miracle here for us, for my Uncle's children, for him, and this entire family. Please, God...a miracle.
Then, I think of my Mothers face, and think of what she would be doing if she were here...she would be doing exactly as I am, I am certain of it. She would be sitting up while everyone else sleeps, and her worry keeping her company...just like I am. My worry might as well sit right next to me here on the sofa, because it has not left me all evening.
Then, I think of my Grandmother...she has lost and out-lived two of her children, please do not make it a third. This woman, she is so strong, and all I need right now is for God to wrap his loving arms around my Grandmother and keep her, comfort her.
Mom, I know you can see me. I believe that. I know you can look down and know exactly what is happening here on Earth. Some say that God does not open the Heavens for you to see, but, I feel like He does. I just think it affects you differently now. Mom, with this that is happening I so very much wish you were here. You always called me to tell me these things, I never had to hear them from anyone else but you. Mom, I'm not big enough for this without you. I'm not strong enough without my Mom. I have no choice but to buck up and be strong, but, I really need you to know that this was all so much easier with you. I really am learning that no matter how old I get, I still need my Mom...and you are not here.
Dear God, please do not take my Uncle right now. I so very much pray it is not your will to have him yet. God, please comfort my Grandmother, with all that I am I beg you to just comfort her, keep her, and hold her. God you are merciful and you are great...I know you are capable of a miracle...and, I pray you would bless this family with a miracle. Amen.
Then, my thoughts immediately went to my Mom. I've been vigilant in my prayer all evening, and just praying that God might interject a miracle here for us, for my Uncle's children, for him, and this entire family. Please, God...a miracle.
Then, I think of my Mothers face, and think of what she would be doing if she were here...she would be doing exactly as I am, I am certain of it. She would be sitting up while everyone else sleeps, and her worry keeping her company...just like I am. My worry might as well sit right next to me here on the sofa, because it has not left me all evening.
Then, I think of my Grandmother...she has lost and out-lived two of her children, please do not make it a third. This woman, she is so strong, and all I need right now is for God to wrap his loving arms around my Grandmother and keep her, comfort her.
Mom, I know you can see me. I believe that. I know you can look down and know exactly what is happening here on Earth. Some say that God does not open the Heavens for you to see, but, I feel like He does. I just think it affects you differently now. Mom, with this that is happening I so very much wish you were here. You always called me to tell me these things, I never had to hear them from anyone else but you. Mom, I'm not big enough for this without you. I'm not strong enough without my Mom. I have no choice but to buck up and be strong, but, I really need you to know that this was all so much easier with you. I really am learning that no matter how old I get, I still need my Mom...and you are not here.
Dear God, please do not take my Uncle right now. I so very much pray it is not your will to have him yet. God, please comfort my Grandmother, with all that I am I beg you to just comfort her, keep her, and hold her. God you are merciful and you are great...I know you are capable of a miracle...and, I pray you would bless this family with a miracle. Amen.