Sounds terrible doesn't it??? Spaghetti, and waffles....yuck, it makes my stomach turn thinking about mixing the sugar coma cakes, and tomato soaked noodles...breakfast and dinner...this is absolutely an oil and water mixture to me...the two just do not mix. But, that is my marriage. I am spaghetti, he is waffles. Humor me here...
Think of a waffle....round, individual square compartments, and symmetrical. A waffle is made of individual squares, divided by walls. The boxes are separate from one another and they have a purpose...they are a holding place. Most men process life in boxes. One box for one thing, the second for something else, the third for another thing...and so on and so on. The typical man goes from one box to the next, without “dragging any syrup” to the next box so to speak. Once one box is done, they are on to the next without even giving the last box a single thought. As men process life they think in this same manner...my husband for example will think about building a bird house....build the birdhouse...help fold the laundry...play with Aiden...these are all things he does, but never does he think about folding the laundry while playing with Aiden...he is directly focused on the task at hand. (I do so often envy this in him, and in men in general.)
Now, women on the other hand....we are a mess. I can play with Aiden, change a diaper, make dinner, and work on laundry....all the while thinking about what Aiden and I will play next....remember that, oh, we need diapers...and stir dinner...and while I am stirring I can be thinking about what my day will entail tomorrow.....We drag our thoughts through our tasks, we are always thinking...I can play with Aiden and be thinking about what dinner will be for tomorrow....Women are excellent multi-taskers....and we are great at forethought....because WE NEVER STOP THINKING...we mesh together all of our thoughts...like spaghetti sauce....we do not do life in compartments like our men do. This is great for multitasking...wonderful for most, BUT, it comes with its downfalls. We stress......I can be making dinner and be stressing at the same time...nope, not over dinner....probably over something that is scheduled for A WEEK FROM NOW. There is really no separation in our thoughts...its all strung together.
Last night Rob and I were sitting at the table talking, and he was asking a question about my day..I answered with one sentence and was on to something else...his response, “wait, what...I wasn't asking about....” I said, “well, I answered you, and now I am onto something else...” :-)
We are so different in our thought processes, but, we can gain from this instead of letting it annoy us, or confuse us. As I said before...I admire that my husband can separate so much in life...he can think about one thing...and he is onto the next...without dragging any thoughts with him. He can go out to his workshop, and build a birdhouse, all the while not stressing about anything else...he is task focused. We are so very aware of this in our marriage. My nickname for him is often “waffle head,” and we can actually laugh about it.
One day I was very short with him about something ridiculous...I cannot even recall what it was, and he never could understand why I gave him such a quick, short tempered answer...until the other day I was explaining to him that I was stressing about something and I told him what it was...he had never even made that connection...oh, and the thing I was stressing about #1. it was not even worth the stressful energy I put into it, and #2 it was A WEEK AWAY...was it really worth my stress that day?
I am sure there are things about my spaghetti head that on occasion Rob might wish he had....maybe my ability to multitask and get so many things done in one given day, and think of new fun ideas and events for our family to do....who knows.....
So we are aware that he thinks like a waffle head, and I think like a spaghetti brain!
This thought was derived from a devotion Rob and I did before we were married. Bill and Pam Farrell were the ones who designed this concept, and they are absolutely brilliant at advice and ways to make this work in a marriage.
Think of a waffle....round, individual square compartments, and symmetrical. A waffle is made of individual squares, divided by walls. The boxes are separate from one another and they have a purpose...they are a holding place. Most men process life in boxes. One box for one thing, the second for something else, the third for another thing...and so on and so on. The typical man goes from one box to the next, without “dragging any syrup” to the next box so to speak. Once one box is done, they are on to the next without even giving the last box a single thought. As men process life they think in this same manner...my husband for example will think about building a bird house....build the birdhouse...help fold the laundry...play with Aiden...these are all things he does, but never does he think about folding the laundry while playing with Aiden...he is directly focused on the task at hand. (I do so often envy this in him, and in men in general.)
Now, women on the other hand....we are a mess. I can play with Aiden, change a diaper, make dinner, and work on laundry....all the while thinking about what Aiden and I will play next....remember that, oh, we need diapers...and stir dinner...and while I am stirring I can be thinking about what my day will entail tomorrow.....We drag our thoughts through our tasks, we are always thinking...I can play with Aiden and be thinking about what dinner will be for tomorrow....Women are excellent multi-taskers....and we are great at forethought....because WE NEVER STOP THINKING...we mesh together all of our thoughts...like spaghetti sauce....we do not do life in compartments like our men do. This is great for multitasking...wonderful for most, BUT, it comes with its downfalls. We stress......I can be making dinner and be stressing at the same time...nope, not over dinner....probably over something that is scheduled for A WEEK FROM NOW. There is really no separation in our thoughts...its all strung together.
Last night Rob and I were sitting at the table talking, and he was asking a question about my day..I answered with one sentence and was on to something else...his response, “wait, what...I wasn't asking about....” I said, “well, I answered you, and now I am onto something else...” :-)
We are so different in our thought processes, but, we can gain from this instead of letting it annoy us, or confuse us. As I said before...I admire that my husband can separate so much in life...he can think about one thing...and he is onto the next...without dragging any thoughts with him. He can go out to his workshop, and build a birdhouse, all the while not stressing about anything else...he is task focused. We are so very aware of this in our marriage. My nickname for him is often “waffle head,” and we can actually laugh about it.
One day I was very short with him about something ridiculous...I cannot even recall what it was, and he never could understand why I gave him such a quick, short tempered answer...until the other day I was explaining to him that I was stressing about something and I told him what it was...he had never even made that connection...oh, and the thing I was stressing about #1. it was not even worth the stressful energy I put into it, and #2 it was A WEEK AWAY...was it really worth my stress that day?
I am sure there are things about my spaghetti head that on occasion Rob might wish he had....maybe my ability to multitask and get so many things done in one given day, and think of new fun ideas and events for our family to do....who knows.....
So we are aware that he thinks like a waffle head, and I think like a spaghetti brain!
This thought was derived from a devotion Rob and I did before we were married. Bill and Pam Farrell were the ones who designed this concept, and they are absolutely brilliant at advice and ways to make this work in a marriage.