Waking up is so hard Mom...it's the realization that this is not all a bad dream. EVERYTHING carries me to you in some way. I took my clothes out to the mudroom this morning and looked out to see Natalie's swing...that was one of the last places you were while you were at my house. You watched her swing. We took pictures of her. You had me take several on your phone.
My bird feeder...you helped me fill it up since my hands were full...I will never forget this day...I say that, but, it is still such a fog.
Your funeral has come and gone and it's like I was not even there, but, I was...Mom, your very best friend was there...family was there...and not a single thing they said brought me any amount of comfort in this. I went up to your grave the next day and took flowers off the stands and laid them down for you nicely. I'll be back in a week or so to work on it...I'll make it into a garden for you. I promise. It's so peaceful there. I tell people I might pitch a tent there...and, they laugh...but, I would do it if I didn't have a life here waiting for me to continue on.
Mom, I miss you so much. I feel as though this world needs to stop on it's axis and let me grieve, and not begin spinning until I'm ready. Truth is, I'm not sure I'll ever be ready.
God carry me through today. Mom...let me feel you today...I miss you so much. I love you today, tomorrow, and each day after...I will always love you.
My bird feeder...you helped me fill it up since my hands were full...I will never forget this day...I say that, but, it is still such a fog.
Your funeral has come and gone and it's like I was not even there, but, I was...Mom, your very best friend was there...family was there...and not a single thing they said brought me any amount of comfort in this. I went up to your grave the next day and took flowers off the stands and laid them down for you nicely. I'll be back in a week or so to work on it...I'll make it into a garden for you. I promise. It's so peaceful there. I tell people I might pitch a tent there...and, they laugh...but, I would do it if I didn't have a life here waiting for me to continue on.
Mom, I miss you so much. I feel as though this world needs to stop on it's axis and let me grieve, and not begin spinning until I'm ready. Truth is, I'm not sure I'll ever be ready.
God carry me through today. Mom...let me feel you today...I miss you so much. I love you today, tomorrow, and each day after...I will always love you.