I am a perfectionist by nature...it is terrible. I like things to be perfect, in their place, orderly, and I aim for things to go seamlessly...always. Now, once I became a Mother some of that diminished, as it should of course, but, I still hold on to my perfectionist standards and I know that I need to let them go! The thought occurred to me this morning, as I was scrubbing the floors....everything is NOT perfect, BUT, THEY are healthy...they are happy. I think of my sweet son playing with his legos, and jumping on his trampoline....just grinning ear to ear. I think of Miss Natalie trying to walk, and kiss her babydoll's...just smiling her toothy little smile. These two little people are HAPPY! THAT should be plenty to fill my perfectionist need, shouldn't it?
Tomorrow, we are due to have a large amount of people at our home for a party to celebrate these two little kids birthday's!!! I was so excited, early this morning around 3 am...I began to stress all that needed to be done...I took the excitement out of the party. Why? Because I expected a perfect house...spotless...toys all put away...yard absolutely perfect...weather to be perfect...everything perfect! Ya know what? I sit here and type this to you and I realize, we live in a very imperfect world, WE are imperfect...but, our God made us just as He wanted us...imperfections and all. So, maybe this party won't be PERFECT...maybe there will be toys strewn about...maybe it will be a bit toasty outside...but, my two little people that matter, they will be happy. This is not about filling my perfect standards, this is about enjoying my two little children and their turning over a year.
God knew I needed to be the mother to Aiden, and to Natalie. God orchestrated this family just how He wanted. God knew I was capable of filling the needs of these two precious babies, and, sometimes things aren't going to be perfect, in fact, I need to accept that they will rarely be perfect...but, they are smiling...they both have wonderful and kind hearts...they are both growing as they should and developing...they are learning...they are happy...THAT is what matters...my perfect yard does not supply them with that happiness.
Somewhere we have to learn that we can only do so much. We can only do what is within our realm of possibilities...and, that is enough.
Happy Birthday my sweet little children!! Aiden, you are almost 6 (Monday is so so close), and Miss Natalie TODAY is your big day. You've been holding up your index finger letting us know you are 1! Such a neat experience and time. We are so blessed to be entrusted with these two little kids to love, teach, and guide. God, guide Rob and I through another year together as parents...give us the wisdom we need to mold and direct these two little kids as we need to. AND, teach me that perfection is only beating ME up...it's ok if everything is no