I have read many times in many different parenting books the importance of “dating your children.” I love this concept, and I love it even more now that we have two kids to love. Natalie is only 5 months old so I am not sure that taking her out to a movie, dinner, etc is really going to make her feel special right now, but, I do think one-on-one attention is so important for her. I know that in now having Natalie, Aiden certainly thrives and needs that “one-on-one...you are special...my focus is only on you right now....” attention. Anytime him and I plan a date he reminds me THE DAY OF that “Mom, today is our date!” He loves when I do not have to hold Natalie, there is not a baby to contend with...and he has my undivided attention...him and I have done different date activities...we have been to Branson for lunch and go-carts, and to ride the ducks, we've gone to movies, the zoo....really anything that shows him that he is loved, and he is an individual worthy of my attention, time, and effort.
Natalie and I have our little dates as well...where we play endlessly (or until she passes out), sing songs, dance around (or I dance around goofy for her), and of course our little shopping dates. As Natalie grows I look forward to more eventful dates with her, and I think it will be so neat to watch Rob take the little Miss on dates. :-)
In all of this I have found that Rob and I do an excellent job of dating our children(we even ensure our CHILDREN HAVE PLAY DATES), but, we are not so great at dating one another. Adding a small baby into the mix certainly changes the concept of dating your spouse. We have yet to find a babysitter we both feel comfortable with...and lets be honest, can you really focus on your spouse with a baby begging for your attention? Babyproofing Your Marriage has several great thoughts on this matter, and the authors say it perfectly when they announce, “when we neglect our marriage, it wilts. Like a houseplant, all it needs is some regular watering.” I think Rob and I are OVERDUE for watering!
I have really found the importance of health in my marriage...I have found that if my marriage is not healthy...if my husband and I do not get the time we need it hurts us, but...it also hurts our children. Children need a happy marriage to help guide them, I firmly believe this. Now, I am not saying that single Mom's and Dad's are not doing a great job...THEY ARE...I've been there...I know its hard, and I know that when you are all you have...YOU ARE ALL YOU HAVE...BUT, when a marriage is there, and it is for us it must be healthy, just like when I was a single Mother...I had to be healthy to be good for Aiden. Both Aiden, and Natalie need to see two loving parents guiding them, and providing a safe, healthy home for them. Rob and I need to water the garden of our marriage to keep it healthy for us, and if we are healthy in a marriage and strong, our children thrive even further from that.
Last night before bed my husband and I had...oh, I'd say 10 minutes together ALONE...enough time to say... “I really miss you, I love you, you are doing a good job...”. Many people we know are taking trips....nice week long getaways....here, and there....we know one couple that is frequently going somewhere ALONE.....and we both somewhat had a pang of jealousy last night I think. I even DREAMED we went on a trip two nights ago :-)
It is easy to grow weary....tired...and it is really easy to wonder, “when will I see my spouse again?” BUT, when that little twinge of jealousy arises I try to remember that we are all safe, happy, and FINALLY getting healthy....we are all together. For now I will just jot down my dream trips in my head....I will plan our vacations for 5 years from now....and find comfort in my little trips to the basement to do my ironing.
I found this very appropriate....
Babyproofing Your Marriage
“ According to those with hindsight, right now we are living just one chapter in the great book that is our marriage. Hard to believe it now, but we'll have decades of sleeping in on Saturday morning, reading our newspapers (one of my fav things to do!), sipping coffee (ANOTHER FAV), and having uninterrupted conversation with our spouse.”
You know your doing a good job when you are exhausted...I find much peace in this. I can honestly tell you that at the end of each day, I am zapped. I always want to stay up and watch a little something on TV, read my book, or just talk to my husband...but, I am always so tired! I find much comfort knowing that I worked hard, loved well, and did my best...I can lay my head down knowing that I did an ok job.
Natalie and I have our little dates as well...where we play endlessly (or until she passes out), sing songs, dance around (or I dance around goofy for her), and of course our little shopping dates. As Natalie grows I look forward to more eventful dates with her, and I think it will be so neat to watch Rob take the little Miss on dates. :-)
In all of this I have found that Rob and I do an excellent job of dating our children(we even ensure our CHILDREN HAVE PLAY DATES), but, we are not so great at dating one another. Adding a small baby into the mix certainly changes the concept of dating your spouse. We have yet to find a babysitter we both feel comfortable with...and lets be honest, can you really focus on your spouse with a baby begging for your attention? Babyproofing Your Marriage has several great thoughts on this matter, and the authors say it perfectly when they announce, “when we neglect our marriage, it wilts. Like a houseplant, all it needs is some regular watering.” I think Rob and I are OVERDUE for watering!
I have really found the importance of health in my marriage...I have found that if my marriage is not healthy...if my husband and I do not get the time we need it hurts us, but...it also hurts our children. Children need a happy marriage to help guide them, I firmly believe this. Now, I am not saying that single Mom's and Dad's are not doing a great job...THEY ARE...I've been there...I know its hard, and I know that when you are all you have...YOU ARE ALL YOU HAVE...BUT, when a marriage is there, and it is for us it must be healthy, just like when I was a single Mother...I had to be healthy to be good for Aiden. Both Aiden, and Natalie need to see two loving parents guiding them, and providing a safe, healthy home for them. Rob and I need to water the garden of our marriage to keep it healthy for us, and if we are healthy in a marriage and strong, our children thrive even further from that.
Last night before bed my husband and I had...oh, I'd say 10 minutes together ALONE...enough time to say... “I really miss you, I love you, you are doing a good job...”. Many people we know are taking trips....nice week long getaways....here, and there....we know one couple that is frequently going somewhere ALONE.....and we both somewhat had a pang of jealousy last night I think. I even DREAMED we went on a trip two nights ago :-)
It is easy to grow weary....tired...and it is really easy to wonder, “when will I see my spouse again?” BUT, when that little twinge of jealousy arises I try to remember that we are all safe, happy, and FINALLY getting healthy....we are all together. For now I will just jot down my dream trips in my head....I will plan our vacations for 5 years from now....and find comfort in my little trips to the basement to do my ironing.
I found this very appropriate....
Babyproofing Your Marriage
“ According to those with hindsight, right now we are living just one chapter in the great book that is our marriage. Hard to believe it now, but we'll have decades of sleeping in on Saturday morning, reading our newspapers (one of my fav things to do!), sipping coffee (ANOTHER FAV), and having uninterrupted conversation with our spouse.”
You know your doing a good job when you are exhausted...I find much peace in this. I can honestly tell you that at the end of each day, I am zapped. I always want to stay up and watch a little something on TV, read my book, or just talk to my husband...but, I am always so tired! I find much comfort knowing that I worked hard, loved well, and did my best...I can lay my head down knowing that I did an ok job.