Ok, now that we have that out...stop for a moment...really think...when you catch yourself mesmerized or more like criticizing someone else...you've done it. What about when you caught yourself snickering over a far too short of skirt or dress someone wore to church? Or when someone started speaking in tongues and you just didn't believe it. (I'm honestly not sure of my belief when it comes to this...I use it merely as an example...who am I to say what God is capable of through others?) But really stop....I want you to think about a time you've felt out of place...a time you felt you had to hide...you had to pretend you were something you were not.
I can think of so many examples....so many times I've felt so out of place:
*at a church...uh huh...of all the places to feel like you belong somewhere...(I was single...I was a single Mother...and I was going to church alone...I felt so so lonely! So out of place...and I'll never forget an older woman trying to "find me a place" saying...."I have a single Mom here...where can we put her...")
*last year...Rob and I found ourselves with two VERY cranky children who had endured an 18 hour car ride....we found ourselves in a very upscale mall and with two STARVING children (they had just eaten 30 minutes prior...but nevertheless...they were "starving"). People were giving us the "they don't belong here" eye repeatedly...and boy...did we ever feel like we didn't belong! In fact, we decided to skip the fancy restaurant and I think we ended up ordering pizza at the hotel.
*at the grocery store...oh yes, you'd think everyone would fit in there, wouldn't you? I have felt like a sore thumb in the grocery store time and time again. Between my single mom days of literally using my calculator to ensure we didn't "go over" our limit...to the present of toddler tantrums over cookies...people are often not kind...and I think they sometimes forget....they were once there, too.
Well, my list could truly go on for days. I've felt outa place, like I don't belong...many times...and I assure you, although I'm ok with it now, it won't be the last...if I'm living...if I'm going out on a limb...if I'm placing my trust in God alone...I am assured I will feel uncomfortable and out of place. I am absolutely ok with that now. But, my point in all of this, I've felt the pain that comes with being singled out...I've felt the pain of not belonging...and feeling oh so judged. I never want to be the source of that for someone else. And, so, this has had me thinking lately. What can I do to ensure I never make someone feel as though they do not belong? I LOVE making people feel comfortable with me...I want others to talk to me...tell me...the good...the bad...the very real...because it's inside that "box of real" that most of us keep ever so hidden...it's there in that box that we find the true person and what makes them hurt, happy, blissful...it's right there in that hidden little box that the heart rests...and that matters to me.
I once worked in a clinic based primarily on lower income....I saw so many pregnant women...NOT ready to be pregnant women...hurting women...confused women...women in jail....women on drugs...I feel I saw it all...and I'll never forget a phrase that broke me each time it was said to me by these women..."you are so nice..."...and each time I heard that phrase I said like clock work to them...."I have no reason to not be nice to you...". And, it was so true. These women...much like each of us...we need people to just be kind. We need people to accept us...flaws...mistakes...pains...struggles and all....because when you get right down to it...isn't that what Jesus did? He embraced everyone that needed it....regardless of appearance...or history. I think that is such a beautiful thing.
I want "I understand" "I've been there" "I so know how you feel" to escape my lips when I am trying to sympathize with others. And, right next to those words...I want Jesus to take over and help me to be a tool to spread His word.
It might sound crazy...but, if I had it my way, I sometimes think I'd just hug everyone. I feel that, that overwhelming sense of wanting to make people feel like they DO belong.
In all of my thinking about this topic...I think we should stop...look deep beyond what we can see on the surface...and at least try to be more like Jesus to the people we encounter. Love them. Be there for them. Help them. And, remember, everyone has a story...a past...a pain...a regret...but, Jesus just loved, Jesus was and is love. We are supposed to be living that out here on this earth for Him.
Think of all the ways we judge people....
-we judge by appearance...everyone is either "too fat" or "too skinny"
-we judge by profession
-we judge by beliefs
-we judge by homelessness...where they live...how they live...
-we judge by values
-we judge by what diet they follow...what they eat...how they eat...when they eat
-we judge by what parenting technique they use..what they do and do not allow their kids to eat, drink, watch, or play
-we judge by what people drive...how they drive...where they drive
-we judge by income...they make too much...they make too little...
-we judge where people have been...why would they go there? How did they get there? I cannot believe they would go there...
REALLY THE LIST IS ENDLESS...let's just love. Today, right in this moment...just lay the judgement down...and love...love people because they belong to God...they are here because we have an amazing God...and, it is my firm belief...no matter the persons circumstance...they need love.